Last week, as I leaned back in the dental chair, my mouth stretched wide, I practiced the mantra I’d just learned during Dr. Paul Foxman’s 2-Day virtual certification training on treating anxiety disorders in children and adolescents.
Breathe in the first syllable of your calming word, breathe out the second syllable. I placed both hands on my stomach and felt them rise with the first syllable, /o/, and fall with the second syllable /cean/. I visualized waves of a blue ocean, slowly lapping in and then out, in and then out.
“Still do’n alright?” the dentist asked, as he repaired the tooth I’d cracked in my sleep, the second during this pandemic.
“Um huh,” I uttered, so relaxed I’d nearly fallen asleep.
I’ve always read something while at the dentist. Normally, I hold up my paperback book high with my left hand, and turn the pages with my thumb. Once, I even heard my dentist prepping the new hygenist in the hallway for our appointment.
“She always reads during appointments. Don’t take it personally if she doesn’t chat with you.”
I had to laugh. I hadn’t realized that reading during teeth cleanings was unusual. What was my alternative? How was I supposed to cope with the sudden puffs of cold air, the swooshing of fluoride, the blinding lights, the scraping, the filing, the gurgling. Reading was my only survival strategy.
During the recent virtual training, Dr. Foxman practiced the breathing mantra with a restless child in his office. He asked the child to come up with a two-syllable word that made him feel relaxed. Then they practiced breathing the first part of the word, breathing out the last part, and visualizing the word.
This isn’t complicated stuff, I thought to myself. I’ve practiced breathing strategies with many children in my office. Sometimes, I have them lay on their back on the couch, rest a stuffed animal on their belly, and watch it rise and fall as they breathe in and out.
But I’d never adopted the approach for myself. Sometimes, it takes the perfect set of events to bring about change. For me, that perfect set of events is this:
COVID-19 pandemic life
Our current political climate
Starting my own practice
Having a teenager in 100% distance learning
Having a college student’s livelihood shriveled away by dorm-life during COVID-19
Our rescue rat-terrier/chihuahua’s severe allergies, chronic ear infections, hatred towards nearly all other dogs and most people, and ongoing anxiety (even on Prozac)
One of the best parts about my new calming strategy is that I get to close my eyes and rest. Rarely do I give myself that liberty. I’m not a napper. I come by mental restlessness and hyperactivity genetically. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want to rest. It’s just hard. Sometimes it takes that perfect set of circumstances to trigger a life change.